wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
