I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
