I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize