Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
You did what with his pubic hair?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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