we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
