i permit you to call me
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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