Already got asked if we're dating
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
