Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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