I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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