I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
