He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
