Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
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