God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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