I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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