I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
