So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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