I want to walk on stilts...naked
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I could make wine with my vomit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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