Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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