I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
