Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
All the doctor said was why
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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