College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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