Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
