This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
