Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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