maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
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found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
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I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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