I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize