it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
