She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
