i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize