For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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