You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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