Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
