this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
