I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just saw a hot homeless man
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
