Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
