Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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