i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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