He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
How external is "for external use only"?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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