i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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