Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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