Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize