I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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