My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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