doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
