i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
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you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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