The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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