I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
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