google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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