I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
