At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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