it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
