I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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