I think i sorta joined a cult last night
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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