Me too!
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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