dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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