so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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