And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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