maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Randomize