THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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