okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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