I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
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It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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