What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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