Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
