I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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