Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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