shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
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DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
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Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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