Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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