Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
